Loneliness

Going into this summer I was filled with high expectations to say the least. I was going to travel, work out more, live my fullest life. But then reality hit me. I had just graduated high school and realized that I had never really made overly lasting connections with the friends I had made over those four years. So I had no friends. But that wasn't going to stop me from having the time of my life because I still had my loving boyfriend.. right? Well, that's where things got complicated. Once I had graduated and summer finally began, so did the fighting. We would bicker constantly. It seemed like there could never be any good moments without several bad moments in between. It got to the point where we had to take a break from each other so we could really "find ourselves". We had been dating for almost 11 months when this break started. We are both young and going to be experiencing a lot of change in the upcoming months with college and our jobs and moving out and all sorts of other things that I had to stop and think for a moment. There were so many aspects of our lives that negatively impacted our relationship, so many things that would cause the both of us to just break down and forget the good in each other. I had to make a choice that still impacts the both of us today. I decided that he and I should break up. We had a good 11 months, they really were good, he taught me how to love both myself and others and that is something I can never repay to him. It just got to the point where we were both growing and changing and the added pressures of being together negatively impacted our mental states. It was most definitely one of the hardest things I had to do, but I know it was something that had to be done and I hope he can agree. It's been about a month and a half now and I have yet to go on the many vacations I had planned, in fact, I spend most of my time at home by myself or at work. I will occasionally spend time with some friends from work, but for the most part I'm alone. I've decided that I want to filter this free time and loneliness I have into writing, telling stories, possibly entertaining, possibly relating aspects of my life to those around me. Loneliness sucks, but I hope that if people decide to start reading this blog, I'll be able to feel some closure in knowing that there are others out there just like me.